i did search............
yes, i did search a lot................
every time i gained conscience, i searched for you. i knew you were not there, but i wanted you to be, may be just for few seconds, so that i could hold you, feel you close to me, hear you breathing, once again, i wanted to feel the smell of you. the real you, the alive you.
i hate when people come to me, to console me, make me realize that you are no more. they think, i am mad. duffer, they have admitted me in asylum. they say i smile abruptly, i applaud, start singing, even dancing and they are worried, that i don't cry, how crazy friends i have. sanu, you know, i can't dance, and i have sung, only for you. trust me, i have never sung in your absence. yes, i have composed a lot, so that when i reach up to you, you get me all, singing me, the poet that you loved in me. every time, i felt my eyes wet, i have pierced this nail in my finger, i have bleeded letting tears flow through blood. you wanted me to smile, you wanted me never to be sad. i promised you, i would search you, no matter how far you go from me. trust me sanu, i will. you know how much i love you. i know every technical things, this world want me to know. but i have something more in my heart. deep inside the veins, they cannot see. it is you. these people here, have drugged me a lot, that my nostrils can no more filter the air. it cannot differentiate the smells, but i am working hard, i am searching hard. to find yours, i hope i will succeed so