Hi, i am rookie at this but i can understand, in what situation are you. i can not assure you that, i fulfill your requirement, but i can try my level best to make it work.
If you choose me, i may have some idea to tell you to write in your about me page, i worked on many SEO projects and i know some tricks to rank up the webpage,
I would suggest you the matter which holds some water for your webpage, to make traffic on this page,
i may or may not be helpful, its all up to you, what you decide at the end, its good decision taken by you and respect that .....
A great saying said by a wise man," you can't change the perspective of a person but work on their perspective to make it work"