David Boone's Resume
Preface:
My goal is to use the printed word to break through the dull and monotonous drivel of whats left of journalism today.
Skills:
Unfettered by the reins of modern academia, I possess the open landscape or… the equivalent of the "Open Mind of a Journalist" as it should be. Although, old age has rendered me fearless with the inability to "give a darn" for my style, most days. Life has also taught me that an unbiassed truth still needs to be told to the world.
I write from the heart, that's my heart, and heed advice equally with curiosity as well as trepidation.
These skills guided by the right editor, an editor with soul and passion. Where together such a duo has the potential of a fruitful, albeit possibly abrasive relationship. This coveted symbiosis in itself will surely drag our journalistic train back onto its noble rails addressing the reader with intellect and respect again.
Education:
Graduated the "University of HK", key studies, social unrest tempered with political indifference and Satirical Aptitude 101, and Graduated class clown.
Editor and Chief of the "Daily Grind"; Accolades: by The Solo Cranium Review, "A scholastic paper of the highest journalistic probity".
Co-founder of the "World View", currently consisting of over 7 billion members, world wide.
Winner of the "Mainstream Media Pie Eating Contest", which I will later regurgitated, and turn into real stories for your readers.
Contemporary "Free Form" Writer, studied under the likes of Ernest Hemingway, Samuel Clemens, Walt Whitman, and Hunter S. Thompson. Well not in person, but in spirit….
In Summary:
By now I hope you have surmised that I have no resume to speak of, merely I possess the gift of gab, leaning hard on the DNA of Celtic decent. Though my educational institution (University of Hard Knocks) cannot be found on any "Board of Education" register.
I assure you we all have spent many years, head down slogging through the mire of life lessons at this prestigious institute.
I hope that these aforementioned accreditations will allow me your consideration of a job at your firm. As I do-not have the time anymore to unlearn my particular writing style and fervently follow in the footsteps of so many millions of resumes you have doubtlessly stacked before you.
Resumes listing all sorts of academic institutes, boasting years of scholarships and paid tuition and awards no doubt. However they pale to the cost I have invested in this enterprise at the tender young age of 52.
My motive for this "pseudo resume", is at the very least, to allow the reader a chuckle before tossing it in the waste bin. Perhaps mine will be on top of some Harvard or Oxford Graduate… one can only hope. That would make Mom so proud.
Conclusion:
If you've made it this far with my attempt at being noticed above the others, I thank you for your patience and consideration.
I pray to give you the tolerance and an adventurous spirit needed to take on a writer as raw as myself.
Or at the very least a decent rejection letter, for Mom.
Sincerly
David Boone