I've just been reading your story outline for Immortal Wars: Total Annihilation, and I have to say that I enjoy the bombastic, almost quasi-biblical, use of descriptive language. It really sets the dark, operatic tone of war and mythology. I'd love to see screenshots or concept design art if I were to get the proposal accepted, as it would really help the creative juices flow.
I'd love to get some more information about where the NPC characters will appear in terms of the storyline, as I can imagine a lot of potential conversation in the second stage of the story, when Ragnor is preparing the army, and the playable character 'X' could plausibly be moving from person to person acquiring more information about the world of the game.
In any case, read my profile, and if you have any further queries about my experience or my qualifications, do not hesitate in letting me know. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards,
Jamie